For various reasons — among them the fact that they are so shiny — I recently gave in to temptation and bought some Apple products: a Macbook and an iPhone.
I think I’ve always maintained that Apple gadgets were extremely pretty and admittedly functional, but my main objection was the cynical way that the items were priced — namely, very expensively.
Now I have to admit that I am in love (a bit) with Apple products and have succumbed to the middle-class ethic that as soon as Steve Jobs releases something, I want it.
I hereby confess that I have joined the ranks of reasonably well-off white folks who are prepapred (almost) to fall to their backs and let the aforsesaid California pretty hardware corporation anally rape them by charging their plastic with ludicrous amounts of dosh every time they bring out a new incarnation of their iEquipment (probably because they prematurely ejaculated and released the iEqipment before it was ready in the first place).
I readily admit I have fallen in love with the latest app — even if it does cost £210 — and will download music from iTunes, even though it would probably be cheaper to go buy the whole album on CD.
Other things I have recently realised — and that I am prepared to admit out loud — include (but are not limited too) the fact that …
- I am immensely irritated by people who do not share my exact cultural values (that includes people from Maidenhead and Riga, wasted yoof and the BNP)
- I think all people on social benefits are scrounging and should therefore suffer the Spanish Inquistion (no-one expected that), or at least that’s what the Daily Mail says
- Brown bread does taste better than white bread but you can’t beat a good fry-up for breakfast
- Celebrities views on everything are more intersting than the meaning of life
- Speed cameras are irritating because they make me slow down
- Tony Blair was a this thoroughly nice chap, don’t you know?
- Bears may do other things in the woods than steal pick-a-nic baskets
But most of all, that I am a middle class, middle-aged white bloke who just wants a quiet life and lots of shiny things that work in the way you’d expect.
Sadly that rules out the MacBook which won’t connect to my WiFi network.
Bugger!
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